I don’t know if I can say it enough, but I am enamored by the landscapes America has to offer. I never thought one of the best things about the road trip would be the time spent in the car, but I’ve been more entertained driving through Idaho than I was hanging out in San Diego. The most interesting thing is that almost everywhere in the states, if you drive for three hours, you’re liable to find a completely different landscape than the one you started out in. The Badlands in South Daktoa, which look like something from another planet, colorful pointy mountain-like formations that crumble to the touch, are located less than fifty miles from the short, rounded, dark, tree-filled Black Hills, where Mount Rushmore is located.

It was no surprise to me, when we drove from Zion to Bryce Canyon, that the two look completely different from each other.

Both are the product of erosion, but while Zion is the result of millions of years of carving away by the Virgin River….

…Bryce is the result of millions of years of the wind blowing.

We’ve been sticking to a travel agenda (something we haven’t done since day one) since Yosemite, and it’s actually working out quite nicely. I realized after we spent four sick days lazing around Yosemite, that, holy crap, we have less than a month left! (Followed by lots of pouting and anger towards New Jersey). But I couldn’t waste any more time worrying about our lack of time, what a waste of time! I wrote up an itinerary of things we wanted to see before the end of the trip. Zion and Bryce Canyon were on the list, and luckily they’re within 90 miles of each other. First up, Zion:

The campground we stayed at was less than a mile from the park’s entrance in Springdale, UT, so that was awesome! What was not awesome was the bitchy lady at the front desk. First she spent 10 minutes fussing around with a bowl of weird tokens, only to hand us two and say “you each get one coin a day for a shower.”
“Okay, can I get another one if I want?”
“For $5 yes, you get 6 minutes for $5.”
“WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY SIX MINUTES I TAKE SIX MINUTES JUST TO GET ALL THE CONDITIONER OUT OF MY HAIR!” She showed me no compassion, she was short-haired, a curly hair hater.
“Do you have wifi?”
“MmmhmmmNO.”
“Well what if we came up to the lobby, is there wifi up here?”
“NOPE!” She was hiding something, I could tell.  We later found out they DID have wifi.  LIES!

We set up camp on the river, it was probably the best campsite we’ve had this whole trip! There was only one other camper on the river, and he was far enough away it didn’t even matter. After saving up two days of tokens, and receiving a few from campers who were leaving, I was able to complete a shower in 12 minutes. This is a record for me and Mark now knows that I am capable of taking showers that are less than 40 minutes. Damn.

Usually Mark drives as I gawk at all the sights, but this time I drove us through the park, and gave Mark a chance to enjoy the view. I propose someone create a future-car that is completely glass on the top, then we can all appreciate our surroundings a little more, even the drivers.

Zion was great and all, but we never seemed to catch it when the sun was just right. Zion was a photographic disappointment. I want someone else to comment and tell me that no, I am just an idiot who was there at the wrong time. And if you are that someone, and have experienced a sunny Zion, please tell me what time of day/year is good for that. (See the photo to the right above - half is in black because of the shadow!)

We hiked, but it was a trail that many people take. I am not a fan of those kinds of trails. Unfortunately at every National Park we visit, all the “must see” sights are located off trails that everyone takes, because everyone wants to see those sights. Wahh.

We did see this guy on the trail:

Here is a tip: Take the back country trails at National Parks if they have an open back country policy. We had a lot more fun in the Badlands because they had no rules or boundaries, just “If you slip and fall and hurt yourself/die: Sorry.” or “We told you to stay away from the buffalo, now you are dead - Way to go.”

The waterfall was not falling (DISAPPOINTMENT!)

So just like our campground which had some perks (the riverside campsite), Zion also had its perks (a supremely breathtaking drive through a single road that winds up and down a canyon side, take it during sunset if you have the chance). And while the campground had some negatives (6 minute torture tests showers), Zion also had it’s negatives (passing a couple dozen tourists on the boring trail who were also on their way up to the Emerald Falls). I’ll go to Zion again, we’ve just gotta find that perfect season where it’s warm enough in the day that we can swim through canyon waterways, but still won’t see too many people on the trails.

We took that drive I mentioned up the canyon side and headed to Bryce Canyon after spending two days in Zion. The drive is magnificent and we had the chance to drive through a creepy tunnel that was built in the 1930’s. Creepy tunnel? I’ll say.

We ended up getting sidetracked on the other side of the canyon and spent an hour just walking around.

Look, mountain lion tracks AHHH!

We made it just outside of Bryce, to our campground in Panguitch, UT before dark. I chose a campground in Panguitch because I like saying Panguitch. Panguitch was not like Springdale. Springdale town was rich and a rip off to all tourists. Panguitch was quiet, dark and empty because the tourist season was well over. We were reminded of this when it began to SNOW! We were the only people at the campground. I like it better that way sometimes, I can pee with the bathroom stall door open. The shower at this campground was superior to all previous showers I’ve seen on this road trip (and I’ve seen a lot). This could be one reason why I liked Bryce so much more.

Usually when we’re in a small town we end up at the one open restaurant in town and eat something fried and disgusting. We attempted that in Panguitch but NOTHING was open! We ended up at the Flying M, where I would have been happy to just eat a bowl of oatmeal. Instead they stopped serving breakfast hours before and the only thing on their dinner menu without meat was french fries. We left and ate cereal for dinner.

I had seen photos of the amphitheater in Bryce Canyon online before, so I already knew I’d be blown away by the stunning views of the hoodoos. But I totally forgot that the drive there could be just as exciting!!!

I mean look at that! You can see it snowing miles away! It was a spectacular sight to behold.

What we were looking at was the storms that were rolling through Bryce Canyon, and once we arrived those storms were terrorizing the few tourists. And by terrorizing I mean it was completely white out in some parts of the park that we couldn’t see but four feet in front of us. It was gnarly.

When visiting a National Park with time constraints, we like to do a day of sightseeing and picture taking, and a day of hiking (which also involves sightseeing and picture taking). Our first day in Bryce was filled with driving to different look outs and looking out…with our cameras.

The days filled with driving and sight seeing are usually pretty lazy days. My solution for that was to have us run to and from the car whenever we got out to indulge in the scenery. It’s pretty awesome actually and even if I didn’t have that idea I’d probably be running anyway because it was FREEZING out.

After being turned away by a complete whiteout at Bryce Point, we drove two miles only to find ourselves with a blue sky in front of us. Such weird weather we were experiencing.

Just days before when we were in California I proclaimed I would wear only sandals for the rest of the road trip. Those dreams of comfortable, airy toes were smashed as soon as we reached Zion and met the cold air. Bryce was even worse with the snow.

That evening, determined to eat something delicious, even if we were stuck in a small town, I looked up a recipe for Pad Thai. Man, all I wanted was some Pad Thai and for the first time in my life I was willing to go so far and cook up my favorite Thai dish on my own, risking the chance of ruining my Pad Thai tastebuds forever if my concoction was as bad as I imagined it would be.

The ingredients weren’t too bad, the only thing the grocery store didn’t have were rice noodles and tamarind. An hour after we got back we had our first plate of homemade Pad Thai in front of us. It was good! It was really good!!! Well, the noodles were horrible and kept us constipated for days, but the flavors were just phenomenal! We made it a few days later with rice noodles and now I can proudly say I’ve made the second best Pad Thai of my life. Better than ALL other Pad Thai I’ve tried on this trip. I knew you would all be as excited for me as I am. Thanks a lot.

Oh look we made Belgian hot chocolate too!

The second day we hiked the “World’s Best 3 Mile Hike” according to the friendly, bearded park ranger. The hike was pretty great so I’ll let some of the photos do the talking for me:

Looking up…

Tall trees on Wall Street.

I’ve got a stupid zoomy lens addiction right now. So much FUN and SATISFACTION!

We took the road less traveled, up the side of some canyon which ended up just leading us to another trail.

Weeeeee! The only way to get down these things is to slide sometimes. Not very safe, by the way.

Towards the end we crossed paths with another couple who were hiking their way out of the canyon. We were all a little confused by the signs and joked about having to camp out for the night, thank god they had snacks. After hiking up and up for twenty minutes, we all had to stop (they were five minutes behind us) to watch the sun set. As they passed us on the way out, the only thing the woman said was “Spectacular” in her British accent. That’s a spectacular word to hear someone with a British accent pronounce. More more I want more!

The next morning we left when it was still dark out in order to catch the sun rising over the amphitheater in Bryce. COLD AND WINDY! We ended up arriving when it was already bright out, and were informed by another couple of photographers up on top of the canyon that the best part of the sunrise had already passed. Lesson learned. But who can be disappointed when you’ve got one of the largest concentrations of hoodoos in the world to look over as the sun rapidly rises over them? That was a good way to start our day before a 9 hour drive…

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